I had a lousy day. It started with a doctor's appointment that went well, but managed to send my gears in overdrive. All the "but if" scenarios have been running wild in my mind ever since I heard the dreaded words again. Aggresive, metastasis, Stage IV.
I'm sitting here thinking "Am I dying, and nobody is telling me? I feel weak and I look tired. I've lost 40 pounds and I don't feel like eating much. I'm yellow with shades of green, dark black circles under my eyes. I'm bald and I'm loosing my eyebrows and eyelashes a lot sooner than last time. My spine hurts and I need to be constantly taking medication to control the pain. This is my new "normal"
But when I put my make up on, by the way it takes at least 4 layers of foundation to achieve a natural color at this point, I look at myself in the mirror and say "hey, it's not that bad, I feel fine!" And it's true! I do get down emotionally every now and then, but overall I'm fine! Today was a bad day, but I've had weeks in a row being fine. More than fine, awesome!
So, note to self, there are always going to be bad days, I just have to keep going. I can't rely on what's going to happen in the future. It's too far ahead and I don't want to waste my time. My focus should be on the here and now. On day at a time, bringing one foot in front of the other. This is the only way.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Mesothelioma Cancer Awareness
A message from our friends at http://www.asbestos.com/
Mesothelioma is a rare and aggressive cancer. One of the primary mesothelioma causes is asbestos exposure. The cancer develops in the mesothelium, a protective membrane that lines three body cavities: the thoracic cavity (pleura), abdominal cavity (peritoneum) and the heart sac (pericardium).
A mesothelioma patient’s prognosis, or the probable course and outcome of a disease’s influence on the body, is influenced by numerous factors. Since a mesothelioma diagnosis often occurs once the cancer has progressed to later stages of development, prognosis is typically poor. However if a patient is diagnosed before the cancer has spread or elects to undergo treatment to combat the cancer, their prognosis may improve.
Asbestos is a naturally occurring toxic mineral that was commonly used throughout the 20th century in thousands of products and many industries. Asbestos is naturally resistant to heat and fire, making it ideal for use in insulation. The mineral was often used in insulation and the fine, flexible fibers were frequently mixed with cement and woven into fabrics. Exposure to asbestos can result in the development of serious illnesses such as malignant mesothelioma, lung cancer and asbestosis.
Like many people before me, I decided to share my thoughts and feelings as written in my personal journal, and also in e-mails I've sent to my family and friends, while struggling with breast cancer. So, if it sounds familiar, please don't fret! I promise that you got the original first, and then it was posted here just so that I don't have to re-write things. Lazy, I know! ;-)
Mesothelioma Cancer Awareness
A message from our friends at http://www.asbestos.com/
Mesothelioma is a rare and aggressive cancer. One of the primary mesothelioma causes is asbestos exposure. The cancer develops in the mesothelium, a protective membrane that lines three body cavities: the thoracic cavity (pleura), abdominal cavity (peritoneum) and the heart sac (pericardium).
A mesothelioma patient’s prognosis, or the probable course and outcome of a disease’s influence on the body, is influenced by numerous factors. Since a mesothelioma diagnosis often occurs once the cancer has progressed to later stages of development, prognosis is typically poor. However if a patient is diagnosed before the cancer has spread or elects to undergo treatment to combat the cancer, their prognosis may improve.
Asbestos is a naturally occurring toxic mineral that was commonly used throughout the 20th century in thousands of products and many industries. Asbestos is naturally resistant to heat and fire, making it ideal for use in insulation. The mineral was often used in insulation and the fine, flexible fibers were frequently mixed with cement and woven into fabrics. Exposure to asbestos can result in the development of serious illnesses such as malignant mesothelioma, lung cancer and asbestosis.
No comments:
Post a Comment