Day 2

I woke up early and my stomach still felt like it did the night before. It had turned into a tight knot that was making it difficult for me to breath! I felt sick. I showered and got ready to go to the hospital for my very first MRI. Oh, joy of joys!

I took a sedative, so by the time we got to the hospital I was already feeling disoriented and oozy. After registration we found our way to Radiology.
Only a few minutes later and I had to leave Brian and Natalie in the waiting room to follow a nurse into the inner sanctum of the "magnetic fields". She lead me to a room with a locker where I had to change into a gown and scrubs.

When I reemerged, dressed up in that ridiculous outfit, she sat me in a wheelchair and she pushed me right outside the MRI room. I was left there waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Now that I think about it I'm not sure if it was really that long, but it did feel like an eternity.

By that time and although the medicine had already started to kick in, everything around me looked empty and unbearably dull. I don't think I started drooling or anything, although I felt so drunk that maybe I did but was too high to even realize!

Thankfully the nurse finally came back and told me to follow her once again. I went into the room where they would do the MRI. She told me I had to lie on my stomach, put both my breast inside two openings that she would adjust for me and stay still for about an hour. Hey, it sounds kinky, I'm in! Then she put an IV on my arm. Not much pain there. I thought "This is going to be a piece of cake!" And it was! Well, sort of.

The radiologist came in, a dude that really couldn't care less and didn't say much. I lied down on the platform that the nurse had already covered with some sheets before I came in, and she placed some funky headphones on my head (they were pretty big). "To listen to music if I wanted to" she said. She tried to keep my hair out of the way, so that I could look at the little mirror that was now placed right in front of my face. Somehow it was showing some cabinets from across the room, but mostly it was reflecting the tips of my hair. Nothing interesting there, so I closed my eyes.

The music was lame, but I was able to relax listening to it. I dozed off and woke up many times, each time at the sound of the nurse's voice telling me how long the next scan would last. I lost count after a while and went back to looking in the mirror, the stupid cabinets, and my newly permed hair with the shiny soft locks that I knew I was going to loose sooner or later.

Still nothing interesting there to see. I closed my eyes again. For a moment I thought that when all this is over I ought to remember to tell them that they should put a DVD screen instead of this small mirror. Watching a movie would be much better than their… furniture. I could very easily stay still for 2 hours watching a movie with Johnny Depp. Hmm...but now that I think about it, maybe it would get too hot in that tube. Not only because Johnny would raise the temperature with his slurred words, but the monitor would probably emit enough heat to make it even more uncomfortable in there. So I guess it's a bad idea after all.

Anyway, about 45 -50 minutes later the MRI was over. Right when I was starting to drift into another nice nap, I heard the voice telling me they would get me out of the tube and to "be careful to keep my elbows close to my body". The nurse came in again. She told me that I did great and that I didn't move an inch! :-)

I tried to get up, but to my horror and embarrassment, I couldn't!
I was on my stomach for so long that my back was locked into that place!
I tried to roll on my side but I remembered that my breasts were still...well, down there. I lifted my shoulders up and grabbed the one side of the bed with one hand. I tried to release my breasts from those uncomfortable holes they had been hanging in and tried to cover them at the same time, but my back still would not budge. Awesome!

I think the dude that couldn't care less, probably found me to be a very amusing show at that point.I was finally able to drag my self to the side and crawl out of that thing. The nurse helped me put my gown back on and she led me back to the dressing room to find my clothes and whatever little dignity I had left within me.

I came out when I was fully clothed and ready. I found Brian and Natalie still waiting for me. I could tell they were ready to get out of there. "Same here" I thought.

We stepped out of the entrance of the hospital. It was pretty cold.We got in the car and Brian drove us home. I don't remember talking much, and if we did I don't remember what we talked about. I was still tired and dizzy from the sedative.

When we pulled into our driveway we found some beautiful flowers waiting outside the door. Bryan and the Sandpoint team had sent them along with a really sweet note:

"Dear Stamatia,We send these flowers to make your heart happy today,and we want you to know that we hope and pray for yourspeedy recovery and healing.Love,Bryan & the Sandpoint Team"

They were gorgeous bright spring colors! I put them in our bedroom. Every time I look at them they cheer me up. :-)I decided to stay in my bed for a little rest. I was hoping I could check my e-mail. I sent a few messages to friends and family the night before, so I was curious to read their thoughts.
I found a reply from Maria, always very kind, and another one from Gramma.

Gramma is always so sweet! She wrote me the lyrics to a hymn that one of her friends had sent her when Grampa was in the hospital. It sounded really lovely, but I think the seeds of bitterness have already been sown in my garden.

I know that she was trying to encourage me but unfortunately the timing was bad. Right after my first MRI, after being poked and strapped to an IV and stripped off my clothes and told to lie face down on a cold bed with my breasts hanging in some holes, so that a scan would show a malignant tumor I already know I have in one of them! Let’s just say I wasn’t feeling so receptive to the idea of the glory of His strength at the moment.

Am I becoming a cynic?

Sorry Gramma. :-(