Round Three

I’ve noticed lately that my accounts have been almost completely devoid of any of my true feelings about what’s been going on. I feel stuck, frozen and I don’t talk that much anymore. I simply can’t.

I worry that if I start describing my thoughts and feelings at this moment I will sound like I’m whining, and I detest whining. So, since I’m unable to express feelings for now, I think that I will keep things simple and stick only to the facts. It’s better that way.

Today I had my third round of chemo. I woke up early, but I was able to get out of bed easily. I took a shower and I started getting ready to go to the clinic. Denise got here a few minutes after 9:00 am and Brian and I left right away.

We arrived there right on time. We went up to the second floor where I had to do the usual stuff. Sign in, fill in a chart that asks questions about possible symptoms I’ve had since last time, then I had to go to the lab for a blood test and smile and say it’s OK when they told me they forgot to do the INR test first (they’re supposed to check it with the first drawn blood), so they had to prick me for a second time.

I went out in the waiting room again and had to wait a few more minutes to see the doctor. Brian had a few more questions to ask and, to the doctor’s surprise, I had a few of my own too. We told him that the tumor has shrunk significantly, so he wanted to check too.

I took my clothes off, and once again had to wear the…paper poncho thingy they like to call a “gown”. The doctor came back to examine me and he was pleasantly surprised when he couldn’t even find the tumor! He said that depending on how I’m doing I might have to do another MRI to see how much it has shrunk.

I asked him to be a little more specific about what the next treatment steps after chemo would be, so he told us that I could have the surgery after 3-6 weeks after my last chemo. He said that depending on the pathology report we’ll get after the surgery he’ll decide whether I’ll have radiation or not. If they still find cancer cells in my lymph nodes (there is very small chance they might not find any) I’ll have radiation for sure and the restoration will have to be postponed. If not the plastic surgeon will take over right after the breast surgeon is done.

So it looks like I’ll probably have radiation, unless of course that miracle that I was talking about the other day does happen. Of course I’m already very grateful that my body has been responding to the treatment so well. It means not only that the tumor in the breast has shrunk, but also that possible cancer cells in other parts of my body are also not liking the “cocktail” they give me and will stop growing before they even start forming a new tumor. Good news! I know that all those prayers coming my way had something to do with it, so a big thank you to all my family and friends that have been keeping me in their thoughts.

After talking to the doctor I went to the third floor for my chemo. I didn’t have a private room this time around, so I was in the big room with everybody else again. The routine was the same; an IV with 2 medicines for nausea, some steroids, then my usual dose of toxins, Taxotere and Carboplatin. It takes about 2:30 to 3:00 hours to administer the IV so I was there for a little more than 4 hours total. Fortunately I had my Kindle and I read the entire time.

I got back home at around 2:30 and Denise and Natalie seemed like they had a fun time together. I was relieved. I spent some time talking to Denise, she really likes to hang out here, but after a while I got really tired and my stomach felt weird. I thought that after she was gone I would have the chance to get some rest, but of course the kids had other plans for me.

So now it’s after 11:00 pm and I can finally get some much needed rest. Tomorrow I have to go to the Kenwood clinic and get my Neulasta shot. I bet that’s going to make me feel great! I really hope the pain is not that bad this time around.

I’m going to try to get some sleep now. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.